Wholeness And Relationships

Many times people feel somewhat bad with themselves in a relationship. This is not, necessarily, something that has to do with you. It could be the choice of the partner.

We all bear insecurities to an extent. That said, even the person that can make us feel bad about ourselves, have their own issues, too; it is just that they are not willing to see those issues.

So when we are in a relationship it is not that everything is a bed of roses. If we or our partner are not ready to support each other it is best we part ways.

Many people on the other hand feel much better with themselves when they are not in a realtionship. But that is not to say it is always good. Because someone can feel better off being alone because they cannot love, which is the other side of the same coin: one is you cannot love and you are not in a relationship and the other is you cannot love and you are in a relationship but you become a nightmare for your partner.

Most of the times, when we are in an abusive rrelationship, we seem to get stuck. That happens because we believe that somehow things will change and/or because we want to make, anyway, that partner to change their behaviour towards us. But for as long as we remain stuck, they will get worse.

Now, many people who cannot love humans attach emotionally on pets. But this is not to say that everyone who has pets is a loveless person. But among those, there are many who are loveless because they have issues themselves. They just don't admit it. In fact they present the 'pet-loving' as something higher than loving humans. But if the pet was to bite them, they would hate it right away.

Wholeness, is not something that comes from the outside but from the inside. You must not rely on someone ho can very well be worse than you, in terms of issues, in order to feel whole. Even if that is a pet.

Case Study

Andrew came to me with the presenting problem of low self-esteem. He was in an abusive relationship and he couldn't set himself free.

He was insisting in begging for love by his partner in vain. His partner would still be abusive and indifferent.

After we applied the appropriate techniques he became sure of himself and parted ways with his partner. He, now, is in a healthy relationship.

And because those techniques help in all aspects of one's life, Andrew even has a better job.