How Can I Succeed In Therapy

Succeeding in therapy doesn't have to be daunting.

The answer is in front of our eyes; plain and clear!

Commitment. Yes, that's it. Like everything else, we need commitment to succeed. And commitment will bring consistency.

I can find all sorts of excuses: the therapist is not the appropriate one; oh, today I don't feel like going to the session; oh, the homework my counsellor gave me is a pain in the neck; today, I feel a bit funny. I'd better stay and play video games etc. etc.

If you try to make a cake, you need to commit yourself to it. Otherwise, you will most probably not only fail but, also, you will not even start making it.

Once, a woman came to me with social anxiety as the presenting problem.

She looked 'surrendered' to life with just a little spark of interest to live. For that reason, I asked her to do a simple exercise; she refused. 'I can't do it' as she put it. Then she missed her next appointment saying she lost track of the days. Then she missed the next one saying she hadn't slept well the night before.

And imagine, I was helping her FOR FREE!! She just had to turn up. Ah, and it was ONLINE! Meaning she could just be in her house in her pajamas in front of her laptop and pay nada money! And she was unemployed, so she had all the time in the world.

Obviously, she didn't have the will to, really, develop herself. She expected some 'guru' come up with a magic wand and take away her anxiety.

Unfortunately, for many, it doesn't work like that. It is you, who has to practice and exercise. The counsellor is just the 'coach', not the athlete.

It's as if you want to be a footballer and you expect from your coach to do the work for you. You know it doesn't work like that. The footballer goes to the training, do the exercises the coach tells him to and he follows a way of life out of the field that will assist his attempt to achieve as a football player.

Imagine the player, staying home or even turning up at the training and sitting back waiting for the coach to do all the work for him.

It is a good thing to find a counsellor you feel comfortable with or a special connection with. But it is not essential. From my experience, even if you don't feel 100% connected to your therapist if you stick to the plan and he or she is decently good, you will make a good progress.

Better enough if you find the right one for you. But, sometimes, it is like looking for a needle in the haystack: the counsellors are numerous and the time is pressing. You want to go out and live your life! And that is a good thing. So, don't really mind your therapist.

Of course, do some research and if you think you can't decide, just start with the one that your inner voice tells you. Always, always pay attention to your inner voice and listen to it. It knows better.

Another thing is the form of therapy. It is not all forms of therapy that suits everyone. Some therapists use energy psychology, others positive psychology, others dynamic psychology and so on. I, personally, believe that all forms have something to offer you and for many, a variety could be their redemption from their problems.

Feel free to email me at: excitinglifeforyou@gmail.com and/or visit my website: www.excitinglifeforyou.com. I'll be happy to read your email and welcome you at my website!