Power And Relationships

It is not rare to see love partners compete for power in a relationship. But then, again, how can they be considered as love partners when they fight over power?

Let's Break It Down A Bit

When love partners fight for power they don't do it, always, overtly. Sometimes they do, though. They will say: 'I am in control of this relationship'.

But most of the times, they will claim control through, say, things such as 'give me my bag', 'cook for me, I will be tired to cook when I get back home and I don't want ot wait, either' etc.

It is not the requirements that are inappropriate and the dealbreaker, here. It is the way they are conveyed. If one uses a polite way to display their needs, then the message is much easily accepted and the relationship runs smoothly and peacefully.

Case Study

Nora came to see me about her relationship. She knew she didn't do things right and she wanted to change for the better. She was committed to that change.

Her behaviour towards her partner was authoritative, abrupt and unkind.

After an initial consultation it was obvious she had past issues that had remained inside her and cause her to be that way. We started working on those issues and, eventually, she became the person she wanted to be: kind, polite, thoughtful, considerate and patient. She now shows more love to her partner and their relationship is peaceful and loving.